Thursday, January 25, 2007

What if The Chicago Bears Had Hired the Wrong "Lovey"?

Imagine, if you will, the once-proud Chicago Bears franchise managed to a Super Bowl appearance by an 80-year-old millionaire's wife who was stranded on a desert island for at least 20 years with a morbidly obese, violent "Skipper" tour guide and mentally handicapped first mate, as well as a cast of unlikely 3-hour tour-goers, who also happen to be asexual beings with short-term memories of the first mate foiling all methods of rescue from the island. If she was so dense as to let Gilligan ruin all of their strategies for rescue, how is she going to be able to handle the Colts' blitzing schemes?

(Photo copyright CBS.)


Randy said...

With all due respect to Lovie Smith, who has done an excellent job in leading Chicago to the Super Bowl, the Bears did hire the wrong Lovey.

George Halas, the Bears' owner and coach since 1920, retired less than four months after Gilligan's Island was canceled. Halas needed a new coach; Lovey Howell needed a new job. Howell applied, but Halas thought her credentials as special-teams coach of the 1943 Amarillo Riveters of the Texas War Production League were "thin" and hired Jim Dooley instead. The Bears didn't break .500 for another decade.

Halas considered his passing on Lovey Howell as "the biggest mistake of my professional career."

Pat said...

I don't know. I personally think that Parasols have no place on the Football field.

Randy said...

Yeah, but the decline of the parasol resulted in the advent of the domed stadium. Football is meant to be played outdoors and in the elements. If reverting to the traditional way of passing a parasol through the crowd so each person can enjoy two seconds of relief from the sun means that the Lions, Saints, Colts, Vikings, and Seahawks can go back to open-air stadiums, then let's head down to The Umbrella Cellar and get this show on the road.