Friday, January 26, 2007

New Jersey Wants People To Eat Less Squirrel

Squirrels fight back, with lead contamination!

"A letter sent Tuesday to Ringwood residents advised them that children should not eat squirrel more than once a month; pregnant women should limit their intake to twice a month, and adults should not eat squirrel more than twice a week."

(Photo courtesy of; text courtesy of Associated Press.)


Randy said...

Governor Corzine reneged on his campaign promise not to raise taxes and the state's finances are in shambles, but I gotta give him credit -- Corzine's making good on his pledge to "give squirrels a break."

Dave said...

The casinos could employ squirrels in the designated smoking sections. You can teach a squirrel to run a roulette wheel, right?

Pat said...

You can teach one to run on a roulette wheel.

Randy said...

You've got to be union to work in a casino. Squirrels are notoriously anti-union. If they somehow got hired at the roulette tables, there'd be violence not seen since the Flint United Auto Workers strike of '37.

Pat said...

Brendan (Dr. Strangehug) said a radio personality noted "if you're eating squirrel, you shouldn't be having kids."

"Here you go Little Billy, I founds this dead it the back yard, Supper time."

Randy said...

I can't stand it when a grown man calls himself "Billy." Once you hit puberty, it's time to ditch the child's version and go by "Bill" or "William." Even "Last Will and Testament" is preferable. Girls don't lust for Billy. Employers don't respect Billy.

Okay, I'll let Billy the Kid slide. After all, he owned up to the immaturity of Billy by flat-out advertising his childishness -- and that takes grit.

And Billy Wilder wrote and directed Sunset Blvd., so if he wanted to go by Billy, well, he sure earned it.

But Billy Joel? Hey, Piano Man, you're gettin' close to Medicare age. Playground days are over. Maybe you wouldn't be on Wife #3 if she didn't feel like she was married to a first-grader.

So Billy Bob Thornton, Billy Bragg, Billy Corgan, Billy Zane, Billy Squier -- acquire some self-respect, fellas, before you're all remembered like gap-toothed hillbilly, Billy Carter.

Pat said...

Billy Beer!