Monday, January 15, 2007
Paradise by the Speed of Light?
Did I just disprove Einstein's Special Theory of Relativity?
My phone rang. A coworker kindly offered me tickets to a Meat Loaf concert. My vehement refusal commenced at some point during the changing of the t sound into the L. Approximating the time elapsed from when her mouth began forming Meat to the time at which I turned down the tickets in an expletive-laden panic the instant the subject of the offer became recognizable as really, really fast, my nerve impulse made a mad dash from brain to larynx at a rate surely rivaling the speed of light.
Certainly, I don’t purport to possess even a fraction of Albert Einstein’s intelligence. However, Einstein died 22 years before Bat Out of Hell made Meat Loaf a radio favorite—thus, he knew nothing of Meat Loaf's music or the human brain’s ability to achieve unthinkable speed in sheltering itself from sickening tripe-rock.
The Jet Propulsion Laboratory cannot confirm my theory...but at least they were listening to Zeppelin when I called.
(Photo of Einstein copyright The Nobel Foundation, 1921.)