Thursday, January 11, 2007

Apocalypse Now Relax

My interior-design tip of the week:

Redo your walls in soothing pastels, invest in a matching Chenille bedspread (preferably with floral pattern), and adorn the interior with silk window scarves to reenact the opening scene of Apocalypse Now in the comfort and coziness of your newly Victorian-styled bedroom.

Don't forget to set ceiling fan to "medium."

Syosset...I'm still only in Syosset...

(Full-length mirror, khaki Army briefs, and stereo playing "The End" not shown.)

(Photo copyright Morning Dove Inn.)


Dave said...

"New Hope. Shit. I'm still in New Hope."

"What honey?"

"Erm... Nothing."

Randy said...

As wondrous a film as it was, I think George Lucas should have filmed Star Wars Episode I: A New Hope in New Hope. Sure, Tatooine would have lacked the exotic desert wastes of Tunisia, and, instead of Guatemala's imposing Mayan temples, the rebel base on Yavin 4 would've been the Best Western on Lower York Road...but what a layer of trivia it would've added!

And imagine Obi-Wan and Darth Vader dueling inside one of the quaint bookshops while Luke browses the wicca store for tips on supernatural powers.

Maybe whiny C3PO gets caught in the big water wheel at New Hope Mill as Leia drags Han antiquing.

Plus, there's the annual shad festival. Believe me, just as many bizarre lifeforms show up for that as patronized the cantina on Mos Eisley. Why not save thousands in costumes while giving the film a nice seafood vibe?

What, there's no fishing in the Outer Rim?

Lucas really missed the boat on Star Wars.

Pat said...

I would appreciate a re-cut relaxing version of Apocalypse Now. Not much happens. They just travel on the river and tells nice stories about friends and family. Now that's a movie people want to see.

Pat said...

Episode IV is A New Hope, Randy. GOD! I would so feed you to the Sarlac Pit for that inaccuracy had I the chance.

Randy said...

I refer to the 1977 Star Wars as Episode I not as an unconscious typo from it being the first of the films released, but because IV is too easily confused with the acronym for intravenous(ly).

I think you'll agree, the last thing we need is Star Wars Episode Intravenously: A New Flu Vaccine.

Would've killed the Star Wars vibe faster than Jar-Jar Binks.

Randy said...

I agree about a relaxed version of Apocalypse Now. Personally, though, I would include new footage of Col. Kilgore as played by Shelley Duvall instead of Robert. Sure, he was terrific, but Shelley Duvall ordering soldiers to surf a mortar-strewn beach as she espouses the virtue of napalm would take surrealism to another level.

I also would make it a musical.