Thursday, January 4, 2007

A Promoter Without A Promotion

Colonel Sanders brought finger-lickin’-good chicken to millions of hungry Americans. But the secret recipe wasn’t his only secret. The “Colonel” served a mere six months in the United States Army...never rising above the rank of private.


The man who founded KFC couldn’t even land a promotion to PFC.

And yet the world knows him as a colonel.

Under Article 134 of the Uniform Code of Military Justice, impersonating a commissioned officer is a court-martial offense, punishable by dishonorable discharge, forfeiture of all pay and allowances, and imprisonment from six months to three years.

Apparently, Colonel Sanders took the Army’s slogan “Be all you can be” a bit too literally. Luckily for him, all official files were inadvertently destroyed during a botched quarterback draw in the 1994 Army-Navy Game.

(Photo copyright


Dave said...

Ya gotta admit... the man knew how to wear a white suit.

Randy said...

Another clue that he wasn't a real colonel. A high-ranking officer knows better than to dress in clothing that would make him such a visible target. An enlisted man might make that mistake...but not a colonel.

Pat said...

1994? Wasn't that the year the Vet railing collapsed and the drunk cadets came tumbling down? I think John Cougar wrote a song about that.

Randy said...

Actually, that occurred in 1998. In '94, those fresh-faced cadets and midshipmen still had four years of public drunkenness ahead of them.

Yeah, John Cougar's "Navy Plus Three and a Half" remains the archetypal Division I-A betting song even though Army covered the spread, 34-30.

Pat said...

But what about the Mellencamp part? I always thought it was some kind of twisted internment camp for Cantaloupes.

Randy said...

First, he's John Mellencamp. Then he changes his name to Johnny Cougar. Then simply John Cougar. Wait, then he's John Cougar Mellencamp. Now he's back to John Mellencamp again.

As much as this guy's striven to champion the average blue-collar worker, do you realize how much extra work he's piled on the average blue-collar customer-service rep? Managing Mr. Name du jour's utility and credit-card accounts must be a living nightmare.

Hey John, stop making these folks' lives miserable and stick with the same name for a few billing cycles, okay?