On New Year's Day, The Sci-Fi Channel had its annual The Twilight Zone marathon. So, my girlfriend and I got to watching it. The classics were all there: Shatner flipping out about a gremlin on the wing of his plane, Burgess Meredith learning to accept being the last man on Earth.But there were some lesser-known episodes interspersed throughout that had a very peculiar pattern to which my feeble brain eventually caught on. If it involves aliens or spaceships, the "twist ending" always involves Earth in some proto–Planet of The Apes way.
Escaping a planet on a new military flying saucer–like craft because of impending nuclear war? Yep, it was another planet—they are heading to EARTH for salvation. Wait until they find out about OUR nuclear problems in 1961! Really makes you think. Then there is the classic "The Invaders," with the mean mother-in-law from Bewitched. Miniature spacemen (pictured, top left) land in her farm house and begin attacking her. Yep, you guessed it, they are U.S. Air Force men exploring a planet of GIANTS! The pattern continues again and again. I'm thinking M. Night Shyamalan must have been a fan of these endings.
(Photo copyright CBS.)
16 comments:
hey, i missed the ending of one of them. it was the one with a guy who crash landed on a dark planet and he's injured and his spaceship is all messed up and he communicates with earth and they're about to have a nuclear war and wind up cutting off communication. so the guy starts exploring and finds a girl in a tattered rags who (suprise!) also crash landed there.
that's all i saw. so how'd it end??
Oh. You'll never believe this. IT WAS EARTH! Yep, they were Adam and Eve.
Hands down, the best Twilight Zone was the MTV video of Golden Earring's "Twilight Zone."
Who needs Rod Serling and creepy plots when you have two leggy dancers in leather short-shorts grooving to a kickass bass line?
Hey, I posted this at 11:11! How very Twilight Zone-esque. It knows I was mocking its twist endings. This can't be good for me.
the best part is when the mini spaceman attacks the lady with a STEAK KNIFE.
Yeah. That was pretty creepy. But then when you find out he's an American I was like "how dare that Giant woman just trying to live peacefully in her house attack our men when they want to invade her house and shoot her with Christmas lights!"
That's a common hazard of interplanetary space travel, Dave. NASA's been working on a solution, but funding cutbacks have really hampered the Mini Spacemen With Steak Knives Orbiter. There was only enough in the budget for that or the continued search for Earth-crossing objects. For whatever reason, NASA opted for the latter.
I would have liked to see some A-1 sauce around. Would have really broadened the possibility of steak making a cameo.
Kraft marketed its steak sauce very cleverly by naming it "A-1." That name ensures that it's the first listing in the Yellow Pages under Steak Sauces.
"Hello, can I please speak to Steak Sauce?"
"Speaking..."
"Hey, I just wanted to say 'Good job, man'. That Steak was especially tough tonight and you really nailed it"
"Well, thank you. That means a lot. Sometimes you wonder why you do it, but it's things like this that make it all worthwhile"
Yeah, steak sauce truly makes red meat a feast for the palate. I can't imagine how our cave-dwelling ancestors got along with only ketchup and a hint of bay leaf...
How come there are no mixed drinks with steak sauce?
How come there are no mixed drinks with steak sauce?
How come there's no such thing as a French hug? How come birds fly in a V formation yet are completely ignorant of the Roman numeral for 5? How come Radar was company clerk at a MASH instead of in Army intelligence, where his power of prognostication could have won the war and saved untold thousands of lives?
These questions are all well and good, but they don't address the fundamental question Why? Why am I up so early on a Saturday?
Until we understand this, the most central issue, all other mysteries remain superfluous.
How come there are no mixed drinks with steak sauce?
here's one:
1 shot chambord
1 shot steak sauce
1 pint dijon mustard
shake vigorously and serve on ice in hollowed-out pineapple
The last time I shook vigorously was 1982, when I tried to imitate David Byrne in that "Once in a Lifetime" video. My neck hurt for a week.
Same as it ever was
Same as it ever was
Here's another:
The Meat Tenderizer
2 shots A-1 Steak Sauce
1 shot Orange Juice
1 shot Vodka
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