I now know the end is near, for the Antichrist has made himself known. Actually, I bet he is making himself known right now on several Philly-area TV stations, for he does this seemingly every 5 minutes. His name is Chio, and he has made "THE SWITCH" to Wired 96.5. Obviously, there are hidden messages to his evil constituents hidden throughout this omnipresent advertisement. It's gotten to the point that its persistence is, in fact, breaking me down. Like Alex in A Clockwork Orange, I can no longer resist his power. Ya Heard!?
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I was just out to lunch and it was on again!!!! GOD DAMN IT.
Imagine showing that to someone from the past... say, John Adams.
The bane of my existence is Conrad Bain. Between Maude and Diff'rent Strokes, his milquetoast humor ruled prime time for more than a decade and kept out of production such surefire possibilities as Saigon Fishin', The Old and the Rested, The Sadaharu Oh Comedy Hour, Pass the SALT (Or How I Learned to Love Détente), Demolition Kentucky Derby, and Hippie New Year!
I think John Adams would immediately call for the disbanding of the United States and then shout "Thoust Heard?!"
John Adams -- forgotten president, forgotten patriot. The man poured his heart into creating the United States, only to watch all the glory go to Washington, Franklin, and, worst of all, Jefferson -- his loathed rival. Poor John was even upstaged by his own brewmeister cousin, Sam. If he came back today, I wouldn't blame the guy for ripping the Declaration in half and running a Unionjack right up the Independence Hall flagpole.
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