Monday, October 29, 2012
Ian Anderson, My Friend, Is Blowin' in the Wind...
Category 1: Ian Anderson, in one-legged, flute-playing stance, blown over but able to retain place once back on both legs.
Category 2: Ian Anderson blown over and rolled across parking lot.
Category 3: Ian Anderson either blown into an open dumpster or smashed against it with force enough for the thud to be heard at a distance of 100 yards.
Category 4: Wind powerful enough to shear Ian Anderson's long, wild, minstrel-in-the-gallery locks down to the businessman-like, salmon-farming buzzcut he has donned since the late 1990s.
Category 5: Ian Anderson taken airborne by wind and never seen again; flute also taken airborne, and force of wind coarsing through it causes the flute to play the intro to "Nothing Is Easy" while it, too, disappears from view.
Or a future Hurricane Gary.
The National Weather Service would do well to adopt these measurements...
(Photo of Gary Sandy copyright CBS.)