Wednesday, November 14, 2007

A Bloody Mary to Remember

We're adding a new feature to Mount Drinkmore, citing the best weekly e-mail conversations between the Mount Drinkmore panel, which would otherwise be lost to our loyal readers. This one is from the week of November 5, after our pal Rich had a bloody mary at brunch....Let's see what develops, shall we?

Rich: "I had a Bloody Mary yesterday at brunch. Went back to bed."

Randy: "(Rich in jammies and sleeping cap.....alarm rings....Rich pops up, grabs the bloody mary on the nightstand next to him, drinks it down, goes right back to sleep)"

Pat: "I never understood sleeping caps. Sleeping with a hat on is not comfortable. And a kerchief? Ma is gonna roll over and strangle herself in the night. 'Twas the night before Christmas.....and improper sleeping clothes killed the parents."

Rich: "Ma: 'Well, time for bed.' (fits goldfish bowl over her head)"

Dave: "I got this sombrero and tried to sleep with it tilted over my eyes like you see guys doing in the movies while leaning up against a wall. You basically wind up breathing in your own sombrero-tainted breath over and over again until you can't take it anymore."

Randy: "Sleeping caps are still essential to sleepwalkers. You can't afford to sleepwalk down a flight of stairs, out a window, or even across train tracks without a sleeping cap. You might catch cold..."

Rich: "The Bloody Mary must have had at least 3 shots worth of vodka in it. I was looped by the end of an omelette. What do they put in those things? I was seriously buzzed, enough that I was slurring my speech. I felt like a hobo."

Randy: "That slurring thing's an urban legend. Most hobos enunciate quite well."

Pat: "I like the boxcar idea of hobos. Is that still going on? I say we all take a week off and investigate."

Randy: "Even back then, riding the rails was illegal. The G-men rounded up all the hobos and locked them in a special camp on the Jersey side of the Hudson.

And that's how Hoboken, NJ came to be.

It's sort of like the 1930s version of Manhattan in Escape from New York."

Rich: "I'll get us some sticks and bandanas."

Pat: "I read bananas instead of bandanas. Could you also get us some bananas?

They should have Pop Tarts with vodka in them. 'Not enough time to get drunk in the morning?'"

Randy: "Or they could fill the middle with amphetamines.

Pep Tarts -- Get your day off to a hyper start."

Rich: "Beer Tarts -- each tart has 12 oz of beer in its center. Creamy beer filling."

1 comment:

Randy said...

Ah, the bloody mary.

Who woulda thunk that the reign of a zealous English queen bent on returning the realm to Catholicism at murderous cost would someday lead to one of my favorite digestifs?

I love history...