Guy in top hat: "Now, let's see if Phil can see his own shadow!"
crowd cheers
Phil: "Oh God. Somebody please help me! They're keeping me locked in this box all year long. They feed me gruel and poke me with sticks. I haven't seen my family in years!"
Guy in top hat: "It looks like Phil saw his shadow, folks."
crowd cheers
Phil: "NO! Don't put me back in the box! NOT THE BOX!!!"
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Yeah, that was the original storyline for the move Groundhog Day, the plight of Punxsutawney Phil. Then they decided to go with some Bill Murray same day over and over,life lesson thing.
The only life-lesson I gleaned from Groundhog Day was that Andie MacDowell will not magically appear in a negligee no matter how much I try to live the plot by seeing the film over and over.
It's been almost as disappointing a life-lesson as realizing that she's merely the lies in Sex, Lies, and Videotape.
Some local radio personality once said he was obsessed with her and finally met her one say at some event and she had horrible breath.
Hmmm. Then maybe I'll start fantasizing about Lois from Family Guy.
Her breath smells like ink.
I'll have to find an episode in which she's chewing gum.
Good thinking.
Though, wouldn't the gum smell like ink too? Man, it's these questions that make me wish Descartes and Kant were still alive.
Believe me, if Descartes and Kant were alive today, they'd be spending all their time getting lap dances at Club Risqué.
Who cares about transcendental idealism when Sierra's grinding harder than a saber-tooth tiger with TMJ? Nothing proves existence better than that...
As a present-day Descartes would have said, Cogito ergo cum.
Once we get to Descartes and Kant, there is really nowhere left to go.
It's that Kant-do attitude that's gonna keep you out of the school of logical positivism.
That, and your intense hatred of Austrian food. (Hey, it's their school...it's their cafeteria.)
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